What tips do you have for married couples going through treatments? How did you make it through the tough times?

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member6439 (Survivor (2 - 5 years)) - 09 / 19 / 2011

I have been blessed to have been married to my wonderful college sweetheart. We have been a great team for over 23 years now. The stress that we faced with my cancer diagnosis and treatment was fresh on the heels of a failed business that brought great financial losses and two babies born within thirteen months of each other (these were children #3 and #4). Does anyone remember the scene from the movie Dodgeball? Where Rip Torn, in a wheelchair, throws wrenches at Vince Vaughn and his team to train them? That's what Tom and I felt like when I was diagnosed. So we took one day at a time, never worried about tomorrow, and tried to laugh at what we could today. We spoke frankly with our kids about what I was dealing with and tried to keep things as normal and on schedule as possible. I know that forumula doesnt work but the truth is, if I hadn't had my children around me (they were ages 2, 3, 7, and 10 when I was undergoing treatment), it would have been very easy to want to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Keeping my self and my sense of humor was the best way for me to stay connected with my spouse and my child. It was a huge effort, but worth it.

Angela (Survivor (5 - 10 years)) - 09 / 21 / 2011

Like dlebleu, I was also lucky to have my partner of now 27 years by my side through my diagnosis. Fortunately for us we had established a great relationship of communicating over the years that helps us through any difficult time. That skill served us well during our battle with breast cancer. My advice would be to talk it out and talk through it. Share your feelings and your fears and remember that even though you might personally be dealing with cancer, your partner is dealing with a lot too. They are concerned about your well being, your medical care, and often take on additional duties around the house. Sometimes they might need to talk to someone besides you to express their feelings. Organizations like the Cancer Support Community and Men Against Breast Cancer offer support for caregivers and could be what your partner needs if they are having a difficult time.
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