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What are some things you might say to a patient who is having emotional difficulty dealing with losing their breasts and the need for breast reconstruction?

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Topics (Tags):

Support Communication Emotional Support Breast Cancer Breast Reconstruction Patient Communication Mastectomy

Topics:

Support X Communication X Emotional Support X Breast Cancer X Breast Reconstruction X Patient Communication X Mastectomy X

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Diseases:

Breast Cancer

Diseases:

Breast Cancer

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Answer Summary

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Answers (5)

Tobey (Support Group (Verified) ) - 02 / 08 / 2012

Hi Nancy,
I always say you are not alone, come meet your sisters....
hugs & kisses...

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Elynjacobs (Survivor (2 - 5 years)) - 02 / 08 / 2012

There are two issues here. One is the emotional factor, the more difficult one. The other is help her find the best doctor and options for her, for her body and her cancer. For many, there can be minimal scars and reconstruction that make the breasts look the same as before. Incisions via the inframmory fold (hide the scars in the bra-line) and nipple sparing mastectomies are options for many women.

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member8158 (Survivor (5 - 10 years)) - 02 / 11 / 2012

I had a radical bilateral ("double") mastectomy, and I fully, and comfortably, own the choices I made to ensure my survivorship (5 years, now). I have noticed, however, that it's impossible to completely prepare a new partner for the initial shock of seeing my reconstructions. The incisions were done straight across the middle, and instead of them trying to graft labial skin onto the scar tissue, I opted to have little "French knots" sewn in the middle of the incision where my nipples should be, resulting in a "suggestion" that nipples are there, but still pretty G-rated. I'm very upfront, and graphic about describing the work, but it doesn't seem to be quite enough. Any suggestions on how to make intimate partners comfortable enough with my appearance that they don't feel they have to "dance around" the issue?

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JeffAschermanMD (Physician - Surgery - Plastic (Verified) ) - 02 / 12 / 2012

1 vote(s) by murray

I would say that this is very normal to have these difficulties, but would also say that with time most of my patients are very happy with their reconstructions, and these emotional difficulties usually go away with time. I also have a number of patients who have finished the reconstruction process and have volunteered to speak with new patients, and this can often be very helpful for new patients. Additionally, having a very understanding spouse or significant other, as well as family and/or friends, is usually very helpful.

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member1665 (Survivor (2 - 5 years)) - 02 / 14 / 2012

No matter how you try to recreate a new breast, reconstruction will never replace the touchable feeling since all nerves are severed during a mastectomy. I do not allow my partner to touch my fake breast because I cannot feel it. It is 100% numb. It could look fabulous (which it doesn't) but to me it is not a win win for pleasure to be found for him that causes me so much emotional pain. Thank God I kept one breast! If you have never had this done to you then you cannot possibly know what a woman feels in regards to this issue, and obviously it varies from woman to woman. My plastic surgeon told me the best I could hope for was to look normal with clothing on and he was right. The emotional difficulties sometimes do NOT go away with time. To say that is really ignorant. They may become less intesely painful feelings, but for me after 3 1/2 years they are still there. I am just being honest here about my personal feelings and I realize that they may not be your feelings but I do believe in sharing ALL sides of this issue with someone who is seeking answers.

No matter how you try to recreate a new breast, reconstruction will never replace the touchable feeling since all nerves are severed during a mastectomy. I do not allow my partner to touch my fake breast because I cannot feel it. It is 100% numb. It could look fabulous (which it doesn't) but to me it is not a win win for pleasure to be found for him that causes me so much emotional pain. Thank God I kept one breast! If you have never had this done to you then you cannot possibly know what a woman feels in regards to this issue, and obviously it varies from woman to woman. My plastic surgeon told me the best I could hope for was to look normal with clothing on and he was right. The emotional difficulties sometimes do NOT go away with time. To say that is really ignorant.  They may become less intesely painful feelings, but for me after 3 1/2 years they are still there. I am just being honest here about my personal feelings and I realize that they may not be your feelings but I do believe in sharing ALL sides of this issue with someone who is seeking answers.

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Latest Activity: 02 / 14 / 2012
Views: 232
Followed By: 6 members