Volunteering

Like Viva, I contacted SHARE and went to their offices to speak to the then Director of the Breast Cancer Hotline. I went through training, spent some time listening to others handle calls, and then began to take calls on my own.

It was important to know and always keep in mind our purpose at the Hotline. We never offer medical advice, for example, but we often explain procedures or answer questions about cancer, research or even chemo protocols. Sometimes we help callers find resources to obtain financial or legal help. Mostly, we listen, educate and reassure as we provide support or help women find support in their own communities. And, we have a talented and hard-working staff to guide us and help us find accurate answers to questions outside of our individual knowledge. I had called Share more than once when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Talking to the women on the hot line was immensely comforting. After all, they had what I had, and they were still alive. When I saw a notice in the Share newsletter asking for volunteers for the hot line, I knew I wanted to provide that comfort to other women.


I called and was scheduled for several weeks of evening training sessions. As a group, we discussed how to be good listeners, what a hot-line volunteer should and shouldn’t do (we don’t provide medical advice, for example, but we do give information about community resources), and how to use the telephone (though I still fumble the Hold button and lose calls).


Then I was scheduled to shadow a seasoned volunteer for a three-hour shift once a week. Eventually, I took over that shift. I still remember how nervous I was on my first call. I was concerned that I might say something that would upset the caller.


Nowadays I feel confident that I do more good than harm, but even today there are times when I go home and lie awake wishing I’d handled a call differently. I want every woman who calls to know that I’m listening, that I’m doing my best to understand and that I care about her and what she’s going through.


I love my work on the hot line. There is an instant intimacy you feel with women who are struggling with life-and-death issues. I’ve had conversations with callers that I haven’t had with my closest friends. After all, I have a lot in common with the women who call Share. I was on their end of the line not so long ago.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer many new people entered my life seemingly within days: surgeons, oncologists, nurse navigators, and a bevy of technicians. I was impressed by the knowledge and compassion that was shown to me on every front. And, for the most part, each professional answered my questions thoroughly and accurately. Yet, despite their best intentions, I felt alone and very, very afraid of what the future might bring. My nights were long and often I lay awake for hours as my worries trumped even my exhaustion.

Then I accepted an invitation to have lunch with a 5-year survivor, arranged by a mutual friend. She told me her story, we discussed topics from chemo protocols to hair loss but--most importantly for me--there she was alive, well, and living a happy and productive life. Suddenly I was able to feel hopeful that my own life was not over and that I, too, could continue to thrive after my diagnosis.

It was at that point that I decided to "model" hope to others once I had recovered from treatment. Good medical care is essential of course but, for me, that one survivor's influence was so uniquely powerful.She helped me deal with my situation in a way that only someone who had been through the same experience could. And, at SHARE we have the chance to answer questions, provide support and show others that they too can move forward and hope for a return to good health once treatment is finished. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer many new people entered my life seemingly within days: surgeons, oncologists, nurse navigators, and a bevy of technicians. I was impressed by the knowledge and compassion that was shown to me on every front. And, for the most part, each professional answered my questions thoroughly and accurately. Yet, despite their best intentions, I felt alone and very, very afraid of what the future might bring. My nights were long and often I lay awake for hours as my worries trumped even my exhaustion.

Then I accepted an invitation to have lunch with a 5-year survivor, arranged by a mutual friend. She told me her story, we discussed topics from chemo protocols to hair loss but--most importantly for me--there she was alive, well, and living a happy and productive life. Suddenly I was able to feel hopeful that my own life was not over and that I, too, could continue to thrive after my diagnosis.

It was at that point that I decided to "model" hope to others once I had recovered from treatment. Good medical care is essential of course but, for me, that one survivor's influence was so uniquely powerful.She helped me deal with my situation in a way that only someone who had been through the same experience could. And, at SHARE we have the chance to answer questions, provide support and show others that they too can move forward and hope for a return to good health once treatment is finished.

Aside from attending meetings at the hospital where I will be sitting in on a support group on the surgical floor, today (ironically, Oct 1) was my first real "event."

My volunteering is two fold. I will be on the surgical floor 2-3 times a month to offer support to those who are still dealing with drains and IV poles. In addition, if any patient expresses they would like to speak to someone, the social worker will coordinate direct correspondence by matching a patient with a volunteer. I've only been "official" at this for six weeks. Most recently, my "yard neighbor" was dx'd and was mid way through treatment & post surgery before anyone bothered to let me know what was happening. The day after I found out, I rang the bell just to say, "I'm here, do you need anything?" We chatted (I listened) to all of those horrible concerns about "what am I going to look like, I'm mangled, I'm mutilated" and tissue expanders are positively UNSIGHTLY. Chemo side effects (which knocked her into the hospital a few times)-dispensed with that in under five minutes. No hair? She was always a free spirit-it bothered her but even that conversation was fairly quick. She was so distraught and I KNEW exactly how she felt. I walked her in the bathroom so she could SEE the end result. She was crying and I was trying to just keep the tears welled up.....When she reached over and said, "You don't know what you just did for me today." No more thoughts of disfigurement. Her present appearance was only temporary and now she saw it with her own eyes.

(My breasts ceased being a "private part" when I no longer had breasts. I'm not normally a flasher, but in that moment, I knew that's what I needed to do. I was having my own "self image" issues over my totally altered body so her "opinion" helped me too-for me, it was like showing her my belly button)

On the other side of the volunteer coin, I got involved with Army of Women because I need to believe we can eradicate breast cancer by 2020. The deadline has been set and I want to get the word out that joining AOW is not obligating anyone to do anything-just read an email. Studies are taking too long to fill and without research on all women, we won't ever understand WHY. We want to "advertise" a new study to as many women as possible to see who might be interested in the product. The more women, the quicker the study....

Through this, I've met some spectacular people (including everyone on this site and in the twitter world). My life is not only enriched, it is completely changed. The entire direction of life shifted and connecting with people, having my opinions valued, my feelings validated just by listening to others....I'm a far better person for having stepped on this path..... Aside from attending meetings at the hospital where I will be sitting in on a support group on the surgical floor, today (ironically, Oct 1) was my first real "event."

My volunteering is two fold. I will be on the surgical floor 2-3 times a month to offer support to those who are still dealing with drains and IV poles. In addition, if any patient expresses they would like to speak to someone, the social worker will coordinate direct correspondence by matching a patient with a volunteer. I've only been "official" at this for six weeks. Most recently, my "yard neighbor" was dx'd and was mid way through treatment & post surgery before anyone bothered to let me know what was happening. The day after I found out, I rang the bell just to say, "I'm here, do you need anything?" We chatted (I listened) to all of those horrible concerns about "what am I going to look like, I'm mangled, I'm mutilated" and tissue expanders are positively UNSIGHTLY. Chemo side effects (which knocked her into the hospital a few times)-dispensed with that in under five minutes. No hair? She was always a free spirit-it bothered her but even that conversation was fairly quick. She was so distraught and I KNEW exactly how she felt. I walked her in the bathroom so she could SEE the end result. She was crying and I was trying to just keep the tears welled up.....When she reached over and said, "You don't know what you just did for me today." No more thoughts of disfigurement. Her present appearance was only temporary and now she saw it with her own eyes.

(My breasts ceased being a "private part" when I no longer had breasts. I'm not normally a flasher, but in that moment, I knew that's what I needed to do. I was having my own "self image" issues over my totally altered body so her "opinion" helped me too-for me, it was like showing her my belly button)

On the other side of the volunteer coin, I got involved with Army of Women because I need to believe we can eradicate breast cancer by 2020. The deadline has been set and I want to get the word out that joining AOW is not obligating anyone to do anything-just read an email. Studies are taking too long to fill and without research on all women, we won't ever understand WHY. We want to "advertise" a new study to as many women as possible to see who might be interested in the product. The more women, the quicker the study....

Through this, I've met some spectacular people (including everyone on this site and in the twitter world). My life is not only enriched, it is completely changed. The entire direction of life shifted and connecting with people, having my opinions valued, my feelings validated just by listening to others....I'm a far better person for having stepped on this path.....

That's great Sabine! My story is somewhat similar. I found it hard to find the right fit. I had some bad experiences with a large organization. Their loss.

When I lost my job I knew I wanted to get into non profit so I was looking to volunteer. I was extremely surprised that it was very hard to find volunteer opportunities. I really wanted to be at a breast cancer organization. I found an opportunity at the local chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It is a wonderful organization and I love volunteering there. I also got involved with the Metastatic Beast Cancer Network. That has recently led to a part time job. I couldn't be happier.

I'll add one thing to Sabine's advice, patience.
I just embarked on my Volunteer Career (I like that, it rhymes!) most recently. I was part of a clinical study at Sloan Kettering and I realized I was the beneficiary of someone's donation dollars. Then, I began to take part in a survivorship program and realized I was the beneficiary of someone else's skill and expertise because of their kindness in volunteering their time. I realized I needed to give back. I began poking around the hospital website to see how I might volunteer my time. And a new path began.

Local hospitals are great places to start. Nursing homes, too. (I have a hairdresser friend who volunteers her services a few hours a week). Googling for non-profits in your area and contacting them is another good avenue to find organizations that may be looking for volunteers. If you have a school aged child (or teen), the schools are likely aware of plenty of local organizations looking for volunteers.

There is no feeling better for me, than to know I made a small difference in the life of another, even if it was only for a short period of time. I stand in awe of some of the volunteers I have met at the hospital. Their commitment inspires me.