Support Team

Over the six years since I was diagnosed I've ended up spending a good deal of time with the various members of my medical team--doctors, technicians, records clerks, receptionists, nurses, aides, etc.--under sometimes harrowing circumstances. With many, I'm on intimate terms: They've hugged me when I melted down. They've given me manual breast exams. They've asked me about my bowel movements! And even though I'm no longer in active treatment, I'll be seeing them for the rest of my life for follow-ups. It just made sense to develop a good relationship with them.

I can still remember the alienation I felt when I first saw the sign "Clinical Cancer Center." I don't belong here, I thought. Now it feels like home. This is the place where people understand me. These are the people who saved my life. I don't love all of them. But I actually do love a lot of them! The physician's staff is his or her gatekeeper. In most cases you will encounter the staff more often than the physician and it important to have a cordial relationship with each one of them. Just as it is important to have a cordial relationship with your physician, his or her staff can either make life easy for you if you are in need or not go the extra mile.

You want a positive and appreciative relationship with your doctor's staff, one of good will, respect and appreciation. For example, it's 4pm on a Friday afternoon. You just realized that you are out of your thyroid medication and you have no refills left. And you are facing a holiday weekend. If you have a positive relationship with the doctor's staff, they will be more likely to help you out with a refill at this time (a very hectic time for a doctor and the staff), rather than if you have been consistently dissatisfied with them. Staff members talk to one another and to the doctor. You want to known as a nice patient who appreciates them. If you are belligerent or complain on a regular basis, you will not get what you want as easily. That is not to say that if there has been a serious error or problem, that you should not say anything. You should speak up but it is all in the approach.
Another example is if you are very ill and need to see the doctor that day. Let's say the doctor is booked up. If you are nice to the staff and have a good relationship with the appointment scheduler, you'll have a better chance of having him/her squeeze you in or get you an earlier appointment.

In all of my interviews of physicians for my new book, The Take-Charge Patient, each told me stories about patients who have been nasty and abusive. Those patients are avoided more often than the patients who are well liked. It's human nature.
If you can establish relationships with the doctor's staff members you'll be in a much better position to get what you want when you are in need.
Now, there are some doctors who have unpleasant staff members. You do your best with these people. I used to see one specialist who is an excellent doctor but his staff was so unpleasant, I finally found another doctor. Several people I know were referred to him and because of his staff, they have never gone back.
One of the roles of doctor's staff is to keep you, the patient, at bay so as not to bother the doctor. So, you must find the most diplomatic way in.

I knew I had no choice but to keep going. One day at a time. The hardest part for me was not so much the cancer treatment, but what happened after the chemotherapy and radiation were over. I had emotional problems coping with life after cancer and trying to pick up the pieces and go on.

Therapy, art, music, guided imagery, and exercise have all helped me immensely. When I was actually going through the diagnostic and treatment phases, I kept going by sheer force of will. I just needed to get through it, especially for my husband and children. After my mastectomy, however, the emotional fallout was overwhelming. Luckily, my cancer center offered free oncology therapy, which I committed to on a weekly basis for approximately a year. I don’t know how I could have processed it all without the help of my wonderful therapists. Without their help dealing with cancer’s losses, I never could have eventually recognized cancer’s gifts. It was that therapy, in conjunction with the support of my family and friends, that brought me to a better place of healing.

I agree too, I went to a support group for 5 years. Was not a pity party but a lot of supportive women who are good friends now. We laughed a lot and there was crying but not nearly as much of that as the laughter.

I also think patients helping patients help doctors. You get suggestions on questions to ask and that could help the doctor patient relationship. The patients can be more focused on what they should talk to their doctor about. I think support groups area great because you talk to real people about the issues they experience. NO doctor, not even a concerned nurse can fully understand the many physical, emotional, and mental issues that arise from diagnosis, treatment and just living on. I love to be with a group of women. It balances out. I was part of SHARE in NYC which uses peeer faciitators. I liked that. It was rarely a 'pity' party. And one makes long-term friends.

Breast cancer treatment requires a team of doctors. The treating doctors include a surgeon (a breast cancer surgeon and sometimes a plastic surgeon), a medical oncologist, and a radiation oncologist. Together, we all decide the most appropriate treatment course for our patients. Despite the fact that the radiation oncologist is often the last clinician to see the patient, he or she is often consulted earlier in the treatment course for recommendations regarding the patient's eventual need for radiation therapy. Breast cancer treatment requires a team of doctors. The treating doctors include a surgeon (a breast cancer surgeon and sometimes a plastic surgeon), a medical oncologist, and a radiation oncologist. Together, we all decide the most appropriate treatment course for our patients. Despite the fact that the radiation oncologist is often the last clinician to see the patient, he or she is often consulted earlier in the treatment course for recommendations regarding the patient's eventual need for radiation therapy.

Before I started therapy, I had the support of friends and family. They were great, but they couldn't possibly understand what I was going through and it was hard on them individually. As caring professionals, my therapists made clear that they were there solely to support and listen to me. They asked me hard questions, but they always stood close beside me as I worked on the answers. And very importantly, I didn't feel the guilt of burdening them that I felt when I let my family see my distress. It was a safe place to go and completely be who I was at that moment, without any obligation to be anything else for anyone else. For a mother and wife, that was an amazing gift. Before I started therapy, I had the support of friends and family. They were great, but they couldn't possibly understand what I was going through and it was hard on them individually. As caring professionals, my therapists made clear that they were there solely to support and listen to me. They asked me hard questions, but they always stood close beside me as I worked on the answers. And very importantly, I didn't feel the guilt of burdening them that I felt when I let my family see my distress. It was a safe place to go and completely be who I was at that moment, without any obligation to be anything else for anyone else. For a mother and wife, that was an amazing gift.

When a world class athlete or professional team sets major goals, they sit down with their coach and create a plan to achieve that goal. The coach sees the athlete for their highest potential and inspires them to begin to live that potential.

Together the athlete and the coach generate a training program to tap into existing gifts and talents and also build muscles in areas that require strengthening to achieve the goals.

When the athlete plateaus, hits a wall or momentarily loses confidence in themselves, the coach is there to support, encourage and remind the athlete who they REALLY are and what they are truly capable of.

Cancer Survivorship coaching is a revolutionary approach to working through the major challenges experienced when cancer touches your life. We define a clear picture of where you are stuck, stopped or blocked and what is holding you back from having the energy and ability to thrive.

How you view the experience can have a powerful effect on your energy level, outlook and your ability to harness the resources you need to heal and navigate the "new normal". You may not be able to change the circumstances of your cancer but you can shift how you choose to go through the experience.

For survivors who are newly diagnosed, coaching can help you overcome the sense of overwhelm and generate a plan to manage major decisions, build your support team and be empowered to take charge of your healing journey. It is also a great way to keep some balance.

It's not uncommon for the medical concerns to override all else and significantly impact quality of life and your primary relationships. Coaching helps identify potential pitfalls like this and supports you to design actions to generate a different outcome.

For post-treatment survivors, both those newly out of treatment and those years beyond who find themselves still dealing with after effects, coaching is a way to take your life back. It helps you build a bridge from where you are to where you want to be.

The experience of cancer often creates new priorities and goals for survivors. Sometimes this can leave you in a place of needing to redefine yourself. Coaching helps you to identify your core values, what you are truly committed to and how you want to invest your energy in alignment with that which matters most to you. When you do THAT you can't help but uncover a hidden source of energy and inspiration. You can read more about cancer survivorship coaching on my website at http://www.cancersurvivorshipcoaching.com or on my guest post "You Have a Cancer What?!"at http://bit.ly/g9gMnR. Of course, I'm happy to answer any further questions here on this site!


When a world class athlete or professional team sets major goals, they sit down with their coach and create a plan to achieve that goal. The coach sees the athlete for their highest potential and inspires them to begin to live that potential.

Together the athlete and the coach generate a training program to tap into existing gifts and talents and also build muscles in areas that require strengthening to achieve the goals.

When the athlete plateaus, hits a wall or momentarily loses confidence in themselves, the coach is there to support, encourage and remind the athlete who they REALLY are and what they are truly capable of.

Cancer Survivorship coaching is a revolutionary approach to working through the major challenges experienced when cancer touches your life. We define a clear picture of where you are stuck, stopped or blocked and what is holding you back from having the energy and ability to thrive.

How you view the experience can have a powerful effect on your energy level, outlook and your ability to harness the resources you need to heal and navigate the "new normal". You may not be able to change the circumstances of your cancer but you can shift how you choose to go through the experience.

For survivors who are newly diagnosed, coaching can help you overcome the sense of overwhelm and generate a plan to manage major decisions, build your support team and be empowered to take charge of your healing journey. It is also a great way to keep some balance.

It's not uncommon for the medical concerns to override all else and significantly impact quality of life and your primary relationships. Coaching helps identify potential pitfalls like this and supports you to design actions to generate a different outcome.

For post-treatment survivors, both those newly out of treatment and those years beyond who find themselves still dealing with after effects, coaching is a way to take your life back. It helps you build a bridge from where you are to where you want to be.

The experience of cancer often creates new priorities and goals for survivors. Sometimes this can leave you in a place of needing to redefine yourself. Coaching helps you to identify your core values, what you are truly committed to and how you want to invest your energy in alignment with that which matters most to you. When you do THAT you can't help but uncover a hidden source of energy and inspiration. You can read more about cancer survivorship coaching on my website at http://www.cancersurvivorshipcoaching.com or on my guest post "You Have a Cancer What?!"at http://bit.ly/g9gMnR. Of course, I'm happy to answer any further questions here on this site!

It is important to meet and develop relationships with others who understand what you are going through. There are quite a few resources for this.

Support Groups: contact your local hospitals, clinics, churches, etc. to find local groups. You may also reach out to organizations such as the American Cancer Society or Komen Foundation. They maintain lists of support groups. Of course you can also search google (i.e. breast cancer support groups). Sometimes it may take some time to find a support group where you feel comfortable. If you would like to potentially start your own support group, the American Self-Help Clearinghouse (http://www.cmhc.com/selfhelp/) has information, models, and advice.

Cancer Hotlines: if you need emotional support from someone trained to help, a couple of options are Share (http://www.sharecancersupport.org/) and Network of Strength (www.networkofstrength.org)

Online chat rooms and discussion boards: There are numerous chat rooms and discussion boards including http://TalkAboutHealth.com, http://breastcancer.org and http://www.bcsupport.org/. It is important to meet and develop relationships with others who understand what you are going through. There are quite a few resources for this.

Support Groups: contact your local hospitals, clinics, churches, etc. to find local groups. You may also reach out to organizations such as the American Cancer Society or Komen Foundation. They maintain lists of support groups. Of course you can also search google (i.e. breast cancer support groups). Sometimes it may take some time to find a support group where you feel comfortable. If you would like to potentially start your own support group, the American Self-Help Clearinghouse (http://www.cmhc.com/selfhelp/) has information, models, and advice.

Cancer Hotlines: if you need emotional support from someone trained to help, a couple of options are Share (http://www.sharecancersupport.org/) and Network of Strength (www.networkofstrength.org)

Online chat rooms and discussion boards: There are numerous chat rooms and discussion boards including http://TalkAboutHealth.com, http://breastcancer.org and http://www.bcsupport.org/.