Stage I (Stage 1) Breast Cancer Experiences

Stage 1 cancer is an interesting diagnosis. When I was first diagnosed after the pathology report was done, I was relieved. I thought no caustic chemo for me. I had 2 weeks to read up on breast cancer before my first appointment with my oncologist. I soon learned I may be heading into the dark abyss of chemo. My heart sank as heard the oncologist recommend 6 cycles of chemo followed by radiation. But I'm only stage 1, how can this be? Although at stage 1 I should feel hopeful, I still deal with battle wounds from the side effects of surgery, radiation and chemo drugs. I hear of recurrence all around me and I have a mother who died of this at age 50 so I will never let my guard down to this disease. As a BRCA gene mutation carrier, I have had access to excellent screening on my breasts since the age of 23. When an MRI picked up the tumour in June of 2009, it was so small that it took an ultrasound and 2 biopsies to confirm that it was cancer. When I got diagnosed at the age of 30, my genetics oncologist called to tell me how sorry she was, but that they had found a "little" cancer. I know she said this to make me feel better about the situation, but it just made me feel frustrated...isn't cancer still cancer no matter what size it is?

Although my tumour was small and hadn't yet spread to my lymph nodes, it was still an aggressive Grade 3, triple negative tumour. In some respects, it seems like I should have felt more grateful because the tumour was "only" Stage 1. But, I didn't feel grateful at all. I still had to go through three surgeries and four rounds of chemo. I still had to lose my hair, my breasts, and a year or so of my life.

I suppose, now that it's all behind me, I have more room to feel grateful because perhaps I worry a little less about a reoccurrence. But, at the end of the day, cancer is still cancer (no matter what stage) and fear is still fear. So, regardless of the stage, I think we all wake up in the morning and do our best to get through each day with hope for a long and happy life ahead.