Safe Space

Okay, first of all, I have to say that I love this question, because it taps into so many great things (boundaries, support, self-care, etc). Next, I'll tell you that one of the reasons I put so much time and effort into making my office (and the virtual aspects of my practice) safe space for my patients is that there are plenty of times when home and work don't feel all that safe. We have all had the experience of someone asking questions that we don't feel comfortable answering (or that we're pretty sure they don't really want an honest answer to). Most of us have had the experience of receiving advice that feels unhelpful or even intrusive. Unfortunately, many people just don't know how to respond helpfully when someone we care about has been diagnosed with cancer or other serious illnesses. Finally, this list of suggestions is just a starting point. Creating safe emotional space is the result of many healthy coping habits.
1. First, start with yourself. Before you can explain what you need to family and co-workers, you need to explain it to yourself. This can be tricky, because what you need may change from day to day (or minute to minute). The more in touch you are with your needs, the better you will be able to help others work with you to meet them.
2. Practice lots of self-compassion. If you're judging yourself for feeling tired, scared, or frustrated, it will be harder to get good support for yourself.
3. Start with your most trusted family member or co-worker. Help them understand what safe space means to you. That might include not talking about your diagnosis unless you initiate the conversation. Or it might mean that they ask you so that you don't have to bring it up. The better you can define your needs, the better they'll be able to work towards them (It might help to point them toward articles like my "Five Steps for More Compassionate Listening:" http://bit.ly/nPbRgk).
4. It may help to develop a "stoplight" system. If you tell family or coworkers that it's a green day, then then can interact with you normally. If you tell them that it's yellow, they should tune in to decreasing your stress. If you tell them that it's a red day, then your key supports should focus on taking care of you.
5. Remember that you are allowed to have all of your feelings, at any time. If you are not getting the support you need, you are allowed to share less information, to create a buffer, or to look for additional support.

Fundamentally, creating a safe space starts with your own belief that you deserve that space and your ability to learn and state your own needs.

I hope that's on track for what you need. Please feel free to ask for more clarification if you need it! Okay, first of all, I have to say that I love this question, because it taps into so many great things (boundaries, support, self-care, etc). Next, I'll tell you that one of the reasons I put so much time and effort into making my office (and the virtual aspects of my practice) safe space for my patients is that there are plenty of times when home and work don't feel all that safe. We have all had the experience of someone asking questions that we don't feel comfortable answering (or that we're pretty sure they don't really want an honest answer to). Most of us have had the experience of receiving advice that feels unhelpful or even intrusive. Unfortunately, many people just don't know how to respond helpfully when someone we care about has been diagnosed with cancer or other serious illnesses. Finally, this list of suggestions is just a starting point. Creating safe emotional space is the result of many healthy coping habits.
1. First, start with yourself. Before you can explain what you need to family and co-workers, you need to explain it to yourself. This can be tricky, because what you need may change from day to day (or minute to minute). The more in touch you are with your needs, the better you will be able to help others work with you to meet them.
2. Practice lots of self-compassion. If you're judging yourself for feeling tired, scared, or frustrated, it will be harder to get good support for yourself.
3. Start with your most trusted family member or co-worker. Help them understand what safe space means to you. That might include not talking about your diagnosis unless you initiate the conversation. Or it might mean that they ask you so that you don't have to bring it up. The better you can define your needs, the better they'll be able to work towards them (It might help to point them toward articles like my "Five Steps for More Compassionate Listening:" http://bit.ly/nPbRgk).
4. It may help to develop a "stoplight" system. If you tell family or coworkers that it's a green day, then then can interact with you normally. If you tell them that it's yellow, they should tune in to decreasing your stress. If you tell them that it's a red day, then your key supports should focus on taking care of you.
5. Remember that you are allowed to have all of your feelings, at any time. If you are not getting the support you need, you are allowed to share less information, to create a buffer, or to look for additional support.

Fundamentally, creating a safe space starts with your own belief that you deserve that space and your ability to learn and state your own needs.

I hope that's on track for what you need. Please feel free to ask for more clarification if you need it!