Finding Positives In Cancer

I had a problem with this question too. Until about nine months after my mastectomy, I was only aware of and focused on the losses brought to me by cancer. As a result of amazing support (and a lot of oncology therapy) I slowly started to realize that cancer was also bringing gifts into my life. Make no mistake – that didn’t make me grateful for having cancer. But I had to realize that there were things now in my life, solely due to cancer, for which I was deeply grateful.

Because this realization kept bothering me, I had to write it down, and out came my Gifts and Losses List. You can see my list at http://www.wherewegonow.com/gifts-and-losses/debbies-list#. I think the reason I found making the list so healing was because I honestly admitted and appreciated both the gifts and the losses of cancer. I didn’t try to sugarcoat the losses any more than I tried to deny the gifts. By looking at my new life beyond cancer in this way, I found myself truly starting to heal.

It is undeniable that the things you had to give up due to cancer are losses. In my case, I could never have found optimism by denying the pain of their loss. It took some time (remember I said it was nine months after my mastectomy when I wrote the list), but eventually I was able to recognize that pain was only part of what cancer was bringing into my life. By recognizing the gift of gratitude for all the support I received, I was opening myself up to the yin and yang of the entire experience.


If you feel ready, why don’t you try to write your own Gifts and Losses List? No pressure. It’s entirely private and up to you. If you give it a try, I hope you recognize a few people or things in your life solely due to cancer for which you feel gratitude. It’s a small start, but for me the Gifts and Losses list brought some balance back into my life.