Family Member

Hearing that someone you love has breast cancer affects everyone differently. Since the possibility of death is there, I find that everyone seems to go through the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

It is easy to get stuck in any one of these stages, possibly even for years. Anger or depression are two stages that are easy to hold on to even after treatment is over. I was depressed for a long time after my mothers first diagnosis.

For me seeing a therapist was a life saver. The anxiety, anger and depression I was feeling was affecting my work, my social life, my relationships, etc. I was terrified of talking about cancer in my therapy sessions and instead kept busy talking about the other issues I was having. I was still partly in the denial stage and saying the words aloud were difficult. But now after therapy I feel as though I have finally accepted the reality of the situation.

At first I thought therapy was a never ending experience that I would have to go every week for years. But I just went for a few months until I felt my anxiety was easy to handle and I was able to say my mom has cancer aloud without breaking down.

If you have insurance, out-patient therapy may be covered. If you are without coverage, look for therapists and social workers in your area as they may work on a sliding scale fee, meaning your fee is based on your income. Group therapy may also be a free or inexpensive option.

You can ask and answer questions on this site at any time of day or night and someone will answer. You never know, you may be asking a question someone else is too afraid to ask. Beyondboobsinc.org has listing of support groups as well as ways to start your own. Menagainstbreastcancer.org supports husbands, sons and dads of breast cancer patients.

Taking care of you mental health is important and necessary when you are taking care of someone else. One other way that I made myself feel better was to start checking myself regularly for preventive needs. You can check out selfchec.org for how-tos, and to sign up for monthly reminders for you and your loved ones.