Embarassing Conversations

Wow, Glen. How wonderful your doctor is taking the time to study his communication with his patients. Asking your permission and then explaining why respected your boundaries and also reflects that he cares about the quality of your interactions. Very refreshing as I often end up having to coach my clients on how to better engage their medical team in listening to their needs.

As for the general topic raised here regarding potentially embarrassing questions, though doctors may know all about anatomy and proper medical terminology, this doesn't always make them comfortable talking about issues around intimacy, sex or even dying and death. In three years of appointments, the doctors treating my late husband never once asked us if we needed any help or support regarding intimacy issues or how the roller coaster ride of cancer might be impacting our marriage.

Unless we broached the tough subjects, like asking about the impact of chemo on fertility since we were in the middle of trying to start a family when he was diagnosed, information was never offered. Only then did they suggest that he may want to bank sperm before starting chemo.

A technique I coach my clients in is opening the conversation with sharing what's true for them. Expressing that they feel shy, embarrassed or afraid to ask a question they know they need to ask is a great ice breaker and let's the doctor know they need some support with whatever it is they are about to discuss.

Sometimes I coach them to use tools such as magazine clippings on the topic so they can just hand it over and ask the doctor for more information specific to their illness. Preferably we work doing role plays and other exercises to get them to a point of being comfortable speaking their questions.

Empowering clients to see that this is about their health and that if their doctor isn't comfortable talking about issues important to them then they have the right to ask for a medical professional better equipped who can have an open conversation with them.

Thankfully, there is increasing emphasis on better patient/doctor communications and more tools (including coaching techniques) being provided to medical staff these days in some treatment centers.