Challenges

You have to be passionate about what you want to do. I knew that I had a great idea in connecting survivors online. You have to remember that this was before online social networking became big. I had the idea at the beginning of 2005, before Facebook, YouTube and Blogging! But I knew that there had to be a way that breast cancer survivors could find each other online and get the support they needed. One of the challenges was the feedback I rec'd from the medical community. I spoke to my oncologist and surgeon about it and they were supportive, but you could tell that they didn't really believe in it. Dr. Susan Love was a mom at my daughter's school so I called her up. She basically said, "don't bother, because I'm going to eradicate breast cancer within 10 years." I thought,"that's fantastic, but there will STILL be survivors!" You HAVE to be passionate!

Giving up or not moving forward is not part of my DNA. After my father died when I was 12, mother and I role reversed. I became the mother, and she became the daughter out of necessity. She couldn't cope with his death. From that moment on, I knew I didn't want to be a helpless victim like my mother.

My first husband taught me to always plan for worst case, because if you've got that figured out, you've got most everything covered. That way of thinking has never left me. When I was 37, I was traveling alone in Central America and was kidnapped by the Honduran Military Commandos. The whole time I was being held, I never once panicked or lost sight of the fact that if I didn't remain calm, I might not survive. I also had to keep someone else who was with me calm. As a result, we're still here to talk about it, although I don't talk about the details much.

Marrying James Coffee was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only did he love and value me more than anyone in my life, including my parents, he was an example of someone who lived their faith in God without preaching. Little by little, I realized he had something I wanted... I needed. God. Since then I've come to believe in God and His Son. Since James' death eight months ago, God has been my rock. I now understand "surrender" for I have surrendered my life, knowing that God knows what's best for me.

Perhaps you could call it persistence, maybe positive thinking. I think it's a combination of strengths as well as turning things over to God.

Thanks for your feedback. What I love is you identified areas of concern and some tools to address them. Finding a modality such as Yoga to increase range of motion is an excellent solution that obviously was a good fit for you.


From a coaching perspective, choosing to get rid of clothes you no longer felt comfortable in was a healthy way of letting go (readers can check out my blog post series ~ Letting Go in Kathmandu at http://coachingbytambre.com/grief-recovery/after-before-blog-letting-go-in-kathmandu/ to get some tips and tools for how to release what's not serving you) of the past as these clothes no longer serve you.


You've identified a common issue where you see the opportunity to do some work which is body image and intimacy. And with energy, you see that right now more sleep on a regular basis supports you having higher energy.


I appreciate you sharing this information as it helps me to ensure I integrate these topics into my workshops, group coaching (next free 3 week Beta Trial group coaching From Fear to Flourishing for survivors begins July 24th - go to http://wp.me/PDajr-16n to register for dial in information) and one on one coaching. It may also help others who read this post to feel less alone if they, too, are experiencing some of these challenges.


It's not uncommon to find out from new clients that they've been suffering in silence about some of these things, particularly around body image/sexuality/intimacy. They often are so relieved when we talk about the elephant in the room which reduces their stress and helps them design an action plan to heal in these areas as well as the healing they are doing directly related to their cancer treatment and survivorship.