Beyond Cancer

Life is full of uncertainties and there are no absolutes. Cancer, like any other disease can reoccur, stay gone for the rest of your life, come back in another place. You could be in an auto accident, or be pulled under by the current in the ocean. This is the risk of living.....with breast cancer or not. I tend to think about the positive opportunities each day offers, rather than dwell on the uncertainties. It's a conscious choice. I choose happy and less anxious. Before I answer this fully, I would love for each and every survivor to make a note of this question and answer it as each significant milestones are passed, whether the milestones are related to cancer or not.

Because it is a terrific questions and the answers lie in
1) our distance from treatment;
2) the extent of treatment;
3) if this is our first experience with cancer, whether I am the patient or someone in my family is;
4) if we've lost friends or family members to cancer;
5) understanding cancer itself and the medical system and
6) how each person deals with mortality.

Each and every one of these factors filter the uncertainly that cancer can create. I'm far different now, at fourteen years without cancer, than I was at three, five or even ten years. But I'm different too, because I'm active in the cancer arena and consequently have witnessed much more -too much at times - suffering and loss created by this illness.

These are all complex, life-long issues that happen to be accelerated or amplified when we've been diagnosed with cancer. It's my belief that the younger are at diagnosis the greater the impact cancer can have, from a practical, physical and emotional perspective. I encourage everyone to do the simplest thing - as Yvonne has done - as we do every week on #BCSM: write and talk about your experience. Every time you do you have helped someone else.

Thanks so much,
jms

Aside from attending meetings at the hospital where I will be sitting in on a support group on the surgical floor, today (ironically, Oct 1) was my first real "event."

My volunteering is two fold. I will be on the surgical floor 2-3 times a month to offer support to those who are still dealing with drains and IV poles. In addition, if any patient expresses they would like to speak to someone, the social worker will coordinate direct correspondence by matching a patient with a volunteer. I've only been "official" at this for six weeks. Most recently, my "yard neighbor" was dx'd and was mid way through treatment & post surgery before anyone bothered to let me know what was happening. The day after I found out, I rang the bell just to say, "I'm here, do you need anything?" We chatted (I listened) to all of those horrible concerns about "what am I going to look like, I'm mangled, I'm mutilated" and tissue expanders are positively UNSIGHTLY. Chemo side effects (which knocked her into the hospital a few times)-dispensed with that in under five minutes. No hair? She was always a free spirit-it bothered her but even that conversation was fairly quick. She was so distraught and I KNEW exactly how she felt. I walked her in the bathroom so she could SEE the end result. She was crying and I was trying to just keep the tears welled up.....When she reached over and said, "You don't know what you just did for me today." No more thoughts of disfigurement. Her present appearance was only temporary and now she saw it with her own eyes.

(My breasts ceased being a "private part" when I no longer had breasts. I'm not normally a flasher, but in that moment, I knew that's what I needed to do. I was having my own "self image" issues over my totally altered body so her "opinion" helped me too-for me, it was like showing her my belly button)

On the other side of the volunteer coin, I got involved with Army of Women because I need to believe we can eradicate breast cancer by 2020. The deadline has been set and I want to get the word out that joining AOW is not obligating anyone to do anything-just read an email. Studies are taking too long to fill and without research on all women, we won't ever understand WHY. We want to "advertise" a new study to as many women as possible to see who might be interested in the product. The more women, the quicker the study....

Through this, I've met some spectacular people (including everyone on this site and in the twitter world). My life is not only enriched, it is completely changed. The entire direction of life shifted and connecting with people, having my opinions valued, my feelings validated just by listening to others....I'm a far better person for having stepped on this path..... Aside from attending meetings at the hospital where I will be sitting in on a support group on the surgical floor, today (ironically, Oct 1) was my first real "event."

My volunteering is two fold. I will be on the surgical floor 2-3 times a month to offer support to those who are still dealing with drains and IV poles. In addition, if any patient expresses they would like to speak to someone, the social worker will coordinate direct correspondence by matching a patient with a volunteer. I've only been "official" at this for six weeks. Most recently, my "yard neighbor" was dx'd and was mid way through treatment & post surgery before anyone bothered to let me know what was happening. The day after I found out, I rang the bell just to say, "I'm here, do you need anything?" We chatted (I listened) to all of those horrible concerns about "what am I going to look like, I'm mangled, I'm mutilated" and tissue expanders are positively UNSIGHTLY. Chemo side effects (which knocked her into the hospital a few times)-dispensed with that in under five minutes. No hair? She was always a free spirit-it bothered her but even that conversation was fairly quick. She was so distraught and I KNEW exactly how she felt. I walked her in the bathroom so she could SEE the end result. She was crying and I was trying to just keep the tears welled up.....When she reached over and said, "You don't know what you just did for me today." No more thoughts of disfigurement. Her present appearance was only temporary and now she saw it with her own eyes.

(My breasts ceased being a "private part" when I no longer had breasts. I'm not normally a flasher, but in that moment, I knew that's what I needed to do. I was having my own "self image" issues over my totally altered body so her "opinion" helped me too-for me, it was like showing her my belly button)

On the other side of the volunteer coin, I got involved with Army of Women because I need to believe we can eradicate breast cancer by 2020. The deadline has been set and I want to get the word out that joining AOW is not obligating anyone to do anything-just read an email. Studies are taking too long to fill and without research on all women, we won't ever understand WHY. We want to "advertise" a new study to as many women as possible to see who might be interested in the product. The more women, the quicker the study....

Through this, I've met some spectacular people (including everyone on this site and in the twitter world). My life is not only enriched, it is completely changed. The entire direction of life shifted and connecting with people, having my opinions valued, my feelings validated just by listening to others....I'm a far better person for having stepped on this path.....