Back To Normal

In my book, I talk a lot about this subject. In fact, I end the book with a list of Do’s and Don’ts: Things you can and cannot do to help a person who’s been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I’ve heard from my readers that it is one of the chapters that helped them the most.

If you are the one who has changed and you are unsure of how to reintroduce yourself to your family and friends, I think it is really important to be open about who you are now and how you are feeling.

I underwent a major metamorphosis, which I talk about in my book. Some of the things were very obvious, but others were more subtle. I was lucky in that my husband realized the differences pretty quickly and on the ones that weren’t so pleasant, i.e. lashing out in frustration, he was good to point out to me that he was in my corner and I didn’t need to be so harsh. That usually brought me back down.

For others, I found myself just being honest. I would say things like, “I just don’t think that way anymore,” or “I hope you won’t be offended but I’m not the person I used to be and it may take a while to get used to the new me.” Most of my friends were pretty wonderful about tiptoeing around me until they figured it out.

I am sure, if you are like me, there have been a lot of weepy moments. I didn’t get embarrassed by them, I would say, “You know, ever since I got cancer, my bladder has taken up residence behind my eyeballs.” Joking about what was going on put everyone, including myself at ease and I found a lot of empathy that way.

I also had to re-evaluate several of my relationships and I walked away from some of them, including the one I had with my mother. I learned that poison comes in many forms and the relationship I had with her was toxic. I could not afford to have toxins in my life anymore and so I made the decision that I had to get out of it. If I can give you one piece of advice is it to give yourself permission to do whatever you have to do to protect yourself during this vulnerable time.

The more time passes, the more comfortable you will become in your own skin and the more comfortable others will become with you. Just don’t feel guilty about what you need to do and don’t hesitate to express your desires where others are concerned.
New Answer In my book, I talk a lot about this subject. In fact, I end the book with a list of Do’s and Don’ts: Things you can and cannot do to help a person who’s been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I’ve heard from my readers that it is one of the chapters that helped them the most.

If you are the one who has changed and you are unsure of how to reintroduce yourself to your family and friends, I think it is really important to be open about who you are now and how you are feeling.

I underwent a major metamorphosis, which I talk about in my book. Some of the things were very obvious, but others were more subtle. I was lucky in that my husband realized the differences pretty quickly and on the ones that weren’t so pleasant, i.e. lashing out in frustration, he was good to point out to me that he was in my corner and I didn’t need to be so harsh. That usually brought me back down.

For others, I found myself just being honest. I would say things like, “I just don’t think that way anymore,” or “I hope you won’t be offended but I’m not the person I used to be and it may take a while to get used to the new me.” Most of my friends were pretty wonderful about tiptoeing around me until they figured it out.

I am sure, if you are like me, there have been a lot of weepy moments. I didn’t get embarrassed by them, I would say, “You know, ever since I got cancer, my bladder has taken up residence behind my eyeballs.” Joking about what was going on put everyone, including myself at ease and I found a lot of empathy that way.

I also had to re-evaluate several of my relationships and I walked away from some of them, including the one I had with my mother. I learned that poison comes in many forms and the relationship I had with her was toxic. I could not afford to have toxins in my life anymore and so I made the decision that I had to get out of it. If I can give you one piece of advice is it to give yourself permission to do whatever you have to do to protect yourself during this vulnerable time.

The more time passes, the more comfortable you will become in your own skin and the more comfortable others will become with you. Just don’t feel guilty about what you need to do and don’t hesitate to express your desires where others are concerned.
New Answer