Anger

I am going to give you a somewhat simple answer, because anger (and our personal history with anger) can be a really complex issue. So, please read these as general guidelines, with an understanding that some of these suggestions may not be a fit for your specific situation.
1. I first suggest that patients express their anger in a safe setting. That expression can be to me if we're in session and in writing if we're not. Talking and writing about our anger can help us express the feeling without engaging in conflict.
2. I also encourage my patients to engage in some kind of physical activity. This may be running or kickboxing to act out some of the energy of the anger, or yoga to reconnect with your own calm center.
3. Next, I recommend taking some time to see if the anger is a protective cover for other, more vulnerable emotions (I wrote about this in a post about what our anger covers up: http://bit.ly/oNalyA). If we're also feeling scared or insecure, our anger may be more intense.
4. I remind patients that anger is not the enemy. In fact, anger can be a good sign that something is wrong. Sometimes though, our anger isn't an appropriate response. In fact, it's totally possible to feel angry, even if you logically know that the anger isn't appropriate. This happens because our emotions and our logic come from different parts of the brain, and those parts of the brain aren't always on the same page. So, we need to be patient with ourselves as we look for the triggers to our anger.
5. Finally, as an overall life habit to help manage many difficult emotions, I strongly recommend some sort of meditation practice. There are many specific practices, so I encourage patients to experiment with several, so that they can find their best fit.
I hope that begins to get at what you were looking for! I am going to give you a somewhat simple answer, because anger (and our personal history with anger) can be a really complex issue. So, please read these as general guidelines, with an understanding that some of these suggestions may not be a fit for your specific situation.
1. I first suggest that patients express their anger in a safe setting. That expression can be to me if we're in session and in writing if we're not. Talking and writing about our anger can help us express the feeling without engaging in conflict.
2. I also encourage my patients to engage in some kind of physical activity. This may be running or kickboxing to act out some of the energy of the anger, or yoga to reconnect with your own calm center.
3. Next, I recommend taking some time to see if the anger is a protective cover for other, more vulnerable emotions (I wrote about this in a post about what our anger covers up: http://bit.ly/oNalyA). If we're also feeling scared or insecure, our anger may be more intense.
4. I remind patients that anger is not the enemy. In fact, anger can be a good sign that something is wrong. Sometimes though, our anger isn't an appropriate response. In fact, it's totally possible to feel angry, even if you logically know that the anger isn't appropriate. This happens because our emotions and our logic come from different parts of the brain, and those parts of the brain aren't always on the same page. So, we need to be patient with ourselves as we look for the triggers to our anger.
5. Finally, as an overall life habit to help manage many difficult emotions, I strongly recommend some sort of meditation practice. There are many specific practices, so I encourage patients to experiment with several, so that they can find their best fit.
I hope that begins to get at what you were looking for!

That's a great question.... My husband and I always had a very balanced relationship so when he was stressed out, I was calm and when I was stressed out, he was calm (which was usually the case prior to cancer). We were truly partners in everything. While going through this cancer journey, I kept my "eye on the prize" meaning I just envisioned how great life would be after he was healed.... I did some YOGA, lots of meditation and took Zoloft too to get through the day. Now that my husband has passed, I go kick boxing 4-5 days a week and beat the you-know-what out of a bag.... That's a great question.... My husband and I always had a very balanced relationship so when he was stressed out, I was calm and when I was stressed out, he was calm (which was usually the case prior to cancer). We were truly partners in everything. While going through this cancer journey, I kept my "eye on the prize" meaning I just envisioned how great life would be after he was healed.... I did some YOGA, lots of meditation and took Zoloft too to get through the day. Now that my husband has passed, I go kick boxing 4-5 days a week and beat the you-know-what out of a bag....

It's probably a stretch to think that a head trauma eight decades ago is the sole factor in causing the personality issues you describe. It may have, but most probably not. Without more information about the nature of the injury it's hard to be conclusive.

Some people are argumentative by nature,or as a result of circumstances in their lives. As far as "erratic" behavior, she is in her late 80s to early 90s. While many people function fine later in life, there are a variety of other explanations for why she may be hard to manage.

Even if the head injury is responsible for what you describe, it was long ago. I think the cause is far less important that what is going on with her now. Is she in a safe living environment? Is she getting the sort of care she needs to be as healthy as can be expected? Good luck with what sounds like it is a difficult situation. It's probably a stretch to think that a head trauma eight decades ago is the sole factor in causing the personality issues you describe. It may have, but most probably not. Without more information about the nature of the injury it's hard to be conclusive.

Some people are argumentative by nature,or as a result of circumstances in their lives. As far as "erratic" behavior, she is in her late 80s to early 90s. While many people function fine later in life, there are a variety of other explanations for why she may be hard to manage.

Even if the head injury is responsible for what you describe, it was long ago. I think the cause is far less important that what is going on with her now. Is she in a safe living environment? Is she getting the sort of care she needs to be as healthy as can be expected? Good luck with what sounds like it is a difficult situation.

I am a firm believer the lowest point in someone's life leads them to their highest... - meaning - when something terrible is happening - it only leads to a stronger, happier, more appreciative person with a passion and zeal for life and for people than before. I am a 2X brain cancer survivor from my teenage years. Now I am an author, filmmaker, and I've done lots of public speaking - I have this extreme joy for life - I don't believe any of that would have played out if it weren't for what happened to me. So... there is a lot of hope - for there is a lot to look forward to on the other side - I believe hope is very powerful medicine. I have interviewed patients from around the country who were given a terminal diagnosis yet overcame the odds. They all shared a positive attitude and an amazing will to live. There have been many studies about the placebo effect, which proves the mind-body connection exists. Even if someone is given a 5 percent chance to live, why can't they be that 5 percent? There is no such thing as false hope.